I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
