Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
