just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
