Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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