I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
