This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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