apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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