I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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