Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
