You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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