I just pynch a tree in the face
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
