Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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