We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have tasted many bathrooms
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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