woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
