Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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