can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
