I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i out mim tonsoeep
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
