I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
