We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
