just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
