why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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