why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We need to rekindle our bromance
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
