Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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