Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
