at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
