there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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