I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
