his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
