You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
