Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
