is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
