Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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