"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize