You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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