piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
