And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
