I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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