hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize