someone threw a dead crab at me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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