I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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