Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
why didn't you poke me back
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
