and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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