I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
