I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
