I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
