C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
