Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
