Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
and you fell through a lawn chair
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
