..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
