Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize