Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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