It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
