i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just gift wrapped bread.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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