turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So. Much. Porn.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
