went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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