Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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