Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
