And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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