There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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