Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
